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#22: 5 Easy Ways to Lose Facebook Fans!

fansWant to start losing your Facebook fans today?

Then make sure you’re doing the following 5 things ASAP.

Because if these 5 actions don’t cause you to lose fans, nothing will! 

You can listen above or at the links below. (I prefer Stitcher!)

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*Originally posted on Post Planner.

>> 1. Post Boring Content

boringPeople on Facebook love nothing more than being bored to tears.

That’s why you should post nothing but very boring content every day — stuff that no one cares about and no one will comment on.

Never include calls to action in your posts — because you certainly don’t want engagement!

Please posts photos of your interns drinking coffee or wearing company t-shirts — because everyone just loves those!

whiteboardEveryone also loves seeing photos of your whiteboard filled with tons of scribbling & nonsense — so inspiring.

And by all means, please post a photo of you in front of your computer while you’re conducting a webinar — because nothing brands your company better than a photo of the back of a guy’s head!

Love it!!!

BONUS: If you want to really bore your fans, be certain to post the same types of updates 7 days a week — so no one comments on them ever!

>> 2. Post Every 12 Seconds – or Only When You Feel Like It

Want to really wow your fans?

Then you need to post every 12 seconds all about yourself or your business. I mean it IS your page after all — so you should be able to post whatever you want whenever you want, right?

Did a goofy thought just pop into your head? Then post it to your page!

Did you have cake for lunch? Tell us about it, please! We’re begging you!

thoughts

Your fans want MORE! MORE! MORE!

So give it to them.

And the opposite works just as awesomely!

Want to really leave an impression?

Go 2 weeks without posting anything at all — then post a sales link to your site!

BONUS: If you want HUGE extra points, then you should definitely start complaining about how bad sales were — and how no one commented on your post — and how Edgerank like totally sucks!

People love not getting updates from pages they follow for weeks at a time.

Forget having a posting strategy — that stuff is for pushy marketers.

You’re awesome!

>> 3. Break Your Promises

Record a video. Create a Contest. Tell everyone a new feature is going to launch on Friday.

broken promises

But then…

Never follow through with it!

People love getting lied to — and they love getting excited about a new product or feature that never actually happens.

Let customers know about a new membership site you’re launching on October 1st — but then wait until June and still don’t launch it.

BONUS: Don’t let the fact that you’ve made a promise you haven’t kept yet keep you from continuing to talk about it and tell your fans it’s coming.

After all, Facebook does this all the time when launching new features (can anyone say “new News Feed”?)

>> 4. Be Negative & Rude – Go Ahead, Call People Names!

how rudeDo you think your customers are rude or jerks?

Then tell them about it on your Facebook page!

Call them names, cuss them out — they’ll love it!

It’s even better if you mention them by name when being rude — go ahead: make it personal!

Or perhaps you want to rail on your competitors — post negative status updates about how crappy they are.

It’s ok — your fans are probably thinking it to, they just need you to say it!

Remember: it’s YOUR page so you can say whatever you want however you want… right?

>> 5. Be Salesy & Pushy – People Love That!

used car salesIt’s a pretty well known fact that your fans love nothing more than to see an unending stream of sales pitches in their news feed!

So who cares about being personal or building relationships!

Social media is all about marketing — so get out there & post nothing but sales pitches.

Never offer any value to your followers — just post links to your products — or even better, affiliate products you’re pushing!

People will love the fact that you’re just getting to the point & not building a community — trust me!

Go Get ‘Em!

Now you have a full understanding of how to quickly lose your fans.

So get out there and start losing fans ASAP!